Posted About Bar Girls
“I see and hear so many people talking about “saving” bargirls. Why dont you save yourself first? In my mind this stems from cultural arrogance. The rich foreigner comes in and sees these “poor” girls being “exploited”. So he gets on his white horse and tries to change the world.
“Do you think these girls lead such miserable lives? Some of them do. Some of them lead great lives compared to what they would be doing otherwise.
“I dont see how someone can come to thailand for a visit and see fit to changejudge the whole situation based on a VERY partial view. (For those of you who haved lived, travelled in TL for years it obviously doesnt apply to you, so hold the flames.)
“I suggest that people spend some time travelling upcountry in Issan and get a feel for where these girls came from, and what their mental background is.
“I’ve read a few posts about people trying to setup bargirls in business. In my opinion this is foolishness. Of course there ARE a few success stories, but the exeptions make the rule. Why is it foolishness? Because these girls dont have it in them. They are THAI. Thai people are not the same as us.
The are motivated by different things than we are. To be successfull in business you need to be highly motivated, relentless, meticulous and disciplined among other things. These are not qualities that typically abound among rural thais. (Once again there are always a FEW exceptions).
“Am I putting the Thais down here? Not at all. What they lack in terms of the relentlessness that we admire in the West they more than make up for in other qualities.
“So it all comes back to cultural arrogance. Maybe YOU think that a positive alternative to a girls current situation is going to school, starting a business, getting a degree, etc. Maybe that’s not what she wants to do with her life? Maybe for a Thai the best things in the world are community and family, and friends all around you, and being able to eat good food all the time.
Also other things like being able to wake up and not have to rush around all over. Just saying “sabai, sabai” and “Mai Pen Rai”. A distinctly Thai trait in my observation is that they tend to live day to day. Ambitious they are not.
“I think oftentimes behind the desire to “help” bargirls really lies the desire to “change” them. Men come and meet these girls and fall in love with certain qualities. They dont want to reconcile what they like with the other bargirl qualities which they may not find so endearing.
So they attempt to remold the girl into their image of a perfect girlfriend or wife. They think they can keep the sweet charming affectionate part of the bargirl and then scrape away the other parts they dont like.
“Guess what folks. You cant change people. Cant be done. Period. End of story. People can only change themselves. Doesnt matter how hard you try.
“So to wrap this all up, the only thing I can say is that if you meet a bargirl and you love her for exactly who she is when you meet her, then go for it.
“If you find yourself thinking she’s attractive but could use a little work, better look elsewhere.”
