Strength in numbers?

When you talk to an experienced swinger, you will find that they didn’t want to try swinging for the sex, but for the experience. Their marriages may have been plenty strong going into the whole adventure, but one or both of the partners just wanted a little something different and new.

They didn’t love each other any less, but rather, they wanted to add another dimension to their relationship. And by making the decision together, they created a way to communicate with each other more openly and honestly, leading to overall better communication skills (outside sexual matters).

Why swinging isn’t cheating

One of the main concerns that couples struggle with is their mindset of thinking that swinging is cheating on their partner in some way. And this can be a deterrent for a while to act upon this fantasy. What makes swinging different from cheating is that the two of you have decided to share this experience together.

There’s nothing secretive about being with this other person. You know exactly what your partner is doing and you’ve talked about why. You’re hoping to share this new adventure with your partner—together. And this is why being open will make swinging even better for the both of you.

Saving a weak marriage

A counselor is the best way to save a weak marriage, not swinging. If you are having insecurities about your relationship, or just aren’t communicating as well, swinging is not a good fix. Swinging is best experienced by a couple that us able to talk to each other and share with each other.

And if problems should come up in the swinging process, then the couple must be able to work through them. And weak marriages are usually a sign of not being able to talk through certain issues.

Don’t complicate your relationship more. Work things out with each other before you add swinging to the already volatile mix. Swinging can provide just the ‘kick’ that your strong marriage needs, but it will not solve problems that are already present. If you’re able to work through issues as a couple and just want to experience more in the area of sex and fantasy, then swinging could be the answer to your dreams.

And there are plenty of places to research swinging. Bookstores so carry books on swinging and your local sex shops can direct you to local connections. Online swinging dating sites and other information sites can also answer any questions that you might have.

Start the open and frank discussions now to enjoy swinging in every way that you can. Doing the research together may also lead to some fun on your own.

Just talking about it makes me all excited.

So when you’re swinging, what about looking at the scenery? Well, that certainly has its place as well.

Opening Your Eyes

When you’re first in a swinging situation, you may feel almost too aroused to do anything but watch. For the first few times I was with my partner, we just looked at the other couple in awe. For one, we were in awe of their openness. And for two, we were excited to see someone else being pleasured.

Just when you think you’re not turned on by something, then you try it and realize, wow, that’s amazing.

I think that many people feel ashamed to say that they like to watch others have sex or touch each other. And why should we? It’s a completely natural act. And how empowering is it to be absolutely comfortable to watch someone else?

Very.

Will The Other Couple Mind?

If it’s just you two and another couple, then you may want to broach the subject ahead of time. And if they say that it’s okay, then you can feel completely comfortable to watch them in action.

You may also feel aroused and follow suit, or pleasure yourself as you watch. Again, clear this with them ahead of time.

Most couples won’t mind if you ask.

And if you’re in a swingers club, it’s almost guaranteed that you’re going to be seen if you start anything, so it’s a free for all for voyeurs.

Remembering to blink may be hard though.

What If We’re Asked To Perform?

Think of being the subject of a fantasy as being in your favourite erotic movie and you are the stars.

Forget about who is watching and let the moment take you and your partner to ecstasy. Pleasure him or her as you normally would. Touch their skin, feel their thighs, slowly tease the sighs out.

If you really want to make an impression, open your eyes and look to the other couple. Let them know how much this turns you on, and how wonderful something feels.

Why Do You Look?

Looking at difference shapes of bodies is intriguing. And in a comfortable setting, you will see that it really isn’t the size that matters, but the confidence of the person.

Women aren’t judged by their weight and men aren’t seen for the length of their penis. Men aren’t counting another man’s abs, and women aren’t considering the bounce of the breasts.

You look because you’re curious, but you continue looking because you can see the beauty in everyone.

In most cases, looking will only satisfy so much and you will want to be the ones looked at. And that is completely natural and enthralling. Knowing that someone is watching you and getting pleasure from it can turn an ordinary moment into an erotic scene.

The Silent Treatment

I think that it’s in human nature to become quiet when something is bothering us, rather than to talk about things. Most often, you find that you get and give the silent treatment when you are upset about something.

I find that being silence is actually just a way for me to gather my feelings before I make any rash decisions or accusations.

But what if you are receiving the silent treatment, what then?

I suggest that attempt to contact the other couple and set up a time where you can all meet in a non-threatening environment. If you truly can not understand or imagine what is wrong, then you can even meet somewhere of their choosing.

Make the silent couple as comfortable as possible.

If you’re receiving the silence from your partner, you can do the same. Of course, most partners are able to talk things over when they begin to feel upset. But if something has happened, make sure to find time to talk.

Usually once you get everyone talking about what has been making them feel bad, you will be able to solve the issues and move on.

Jealousy And You

Being in a swinging relationship implies that you are working toward fantasies while still keeping your spouse as number one. However, in the beginning especially, you may feel as though your partner is having too much fun.

Again, you need to talk about it.

Say everything that is one your mind. Sometimes it helps to write it all down and then read it to your partner so that you remember everything.

Set up a situation in which they can only listen and not respond until you are completely done.

And when you are done, let them speak. You partner will probably reassure you and work with you to find ways to show you that they care for you more than anything.

Jealousy that goes unspoken is the harmful kind. In a solid relationship, it’s just a stepping stone that can be moved beyond.

When The Other Couple Changes Their Mind

Like in all relationships, there may come a point when things just aren’t working out for whatever reason. And you may want to move on for the sake of everyone involved.

This doesn’t have to be a difficult transition when you think of what you have gained from your interaction. Perhaps you have just learned all that you needed to learn.

Don’t take it personally. Say your goodbyes and wish each other well.

Of course, if you feel as though you would like to move to a different couple, then be sure to tell the current couple as soon as possible. You all want to be in the most supportive environment that you can be in.

So be sure to openly talk about the possibility.

Swinging is just like any relationship and it can have high points and low points. The trick is that you need to treat it like any other relationship—with respect and genuine concern for each other’s welfare.