Strength in numbers?

When you talk to an experienced swinger, you will find that they didn’t want to try swinging for the sex, but for the experience. Their marriages may have been plenty strong going into the whole adventure, but one or both of the partners just wanted a little something different and new.

They didn’t love each other any less, but rather, they wanted to add another dimension to their relationship. And by making the decision together, they created a way to communicate with each other more openly and honestly, leading to overall better communication skills (outside sexual matters).

Why swinging isn’t cheating

One of the main concerns that couples struggle with is their mindset of thinking that swinging is cheating on their partner in some way. And this can be a deterrent for a while to act upon this fantasy. What makes swinging different from cheating is that the two of you have decided to share this experience together.

There’s nothing secretive about being with this other person. You know exactly what your partner is doing and you’ve talked about why. You’re hoping to share this new adventure with your partner—together. And this is why being open will make swinging even better for the both of you.

Saving a weak marriage

A counselor is the best way to save a weak marriage, not swinging. If you are having insecurities about your relationship, or just aren’t communicating as well, swinging is not a good fix. Swinging is best experienced by a couple that us able to talk to each other and share with each other.

And if problems should come up in the swinging process, then the couple must be able to work through them. And weak marriages are usually a sign of not being able to talk through certain issues.

Don’t complicate your relationship more. Work things out with each other before you add swinging to the already volatile mix. Swinging can provide just the ‘kick’ that your strong marriage needs, but it will not solve problems that are already present. If you’re able to work through issues as a couple and just want to experience more in the area of sex and fantasy, then swinging could be the answer to your dreams.

And there are plenty of places to research swinging. Bookstores so carry books on swinging and your local sex shops can direct you to local connections. Online swinging dating sites and other information sites can also answer any questions that you might have.

Start the open and frank discussions now to enjoy swinging in every way that you can. Doing the research together may also lead to some fun on your own.

Is there a certain etiquette to finding more than one swinging group?

Sorting It Out

Although this might sound like a broken record at this point, the main way to figure out this dilemma is to talk to the other couple about it. See what their ideas and their concerns might be.

Many of the times, you will find that swinging is actually a lot more open that you even imagined it, so things aren’t as sticky as they might seem to be.

Because you’re already in an open relationship, you may want to have this discussion before you even begin swinging. Talk about the possibility of it, and it won’t become anything that’s a secret.

Secrets and lies are where all relationships can fall apart, including swingers.

Also, if you find that the other couple has been swinging for longer, they may have already found another couple to spend their time with—although you should have found this out before.

Making sure that everyone is on the same page is the best way to ensure that no one feels like they or you are hiding anything.

If The Other Couple Isn’t Okay With It

You may find that the other couples (for whatever reason) is not interested is having you look for additional couples. And there are a few ways to look at this kind of reaction.

One, the other couple may still be feeling insecure about swinging in general, so they need some sort of ‘commitment’ to feel better. This is fairly common in the early stages of swinging—especially with beginners. Respect their decision, but feel free to bring it up again in the future.

Two, the other couple seems to want to be more controlling of the swinging relationship. They have a lot of rules or guidelines that ‘need’ to be followed exactly. Although there is a fine line between having an agreement and being overly controlling, you want to stop if you feel this vibe going on.

Do you feel as though you aren’t participating in the relationship as much? If so, this can be a sign of the other couple’s over-control and a sign that you may want to stop the relationship.

Swinging is for everyone in the group to enjoy and not be a one-sided adventure.

Control can lead to a darker side to a relationship, and you just don’t need that in your life.

When it comes down to it, talking out your feelings with the other couple is best. You don’t want to have them hear about anything through another couple. You will have destroyed the trust that you have built.

And if it just seems like it’s something that you can’t agree on, end that relationship, and move on. No hard feelings.

Let’s go over the highlights of what we’ve already talked about:

Beginning With A Strong Relationship

Since swinging is not the standard relationship format (but I’m hopeful), you might be filled with self-doubt about whether or not something like this can work for you. You may have a lot of preconceived notions as to how a relationship between partners should exist.

But you’re wondering if you could try something new.

You’re not dissatisfied with your partner, but you feel like you want to share yourself with someone else—with the knowledge of your partner.

Having a strong relationship with open lines of communication is the best way to begin a foray into swinging. If there are any problems or concerns, they can be quickly addressed, rather than turning into larger issues.

Talk with your partner about swinging to see what they think. You might be surprised to find out that they are just as interested as you are.

Make out a list of things that you could enjoy with another person and see what your partner thinks.

Finding Someone To Swing With

Every city has the opportunity to find someone who is into swinging. All it takes is an open eye and a little research. You can start with the various Internet directories of swinging clubs and associations, or you may just want to wander into your local adult book shop for literature.

The online swinging community is growing and dating websites have popped up to make the search safe and secure. You can meet up with couples from all parts of the world, or search for some that are closer to home.

Through e-mail and video chats, you can get to know someone before you even reveal your names. In this way, you can be as comfortable as possible before taking the plunge.

Pushing Off

And then comes the time when you are reading to get into the nitty gritty of swinging.

Whether you choose soft or hard swinging at first, all that matters is that you are up front about what you expect from your experience and how you interact with the other couple (or single, or couples, etc).

Touching another person or watching another couple pleasure each other is arousing and liberating.

You can try sex toys and roleplaying to spice things up down the road, remembering always to make sure that everyone is on board with changes you make in your interactions.

Keep an open mind and you will not only increase your self-confidence and sexual ability, but also realize that your current relationship is incredibly strong and supportive.

By being able to indulge each other in your fantasies, you are creating yet another way to communicate with one another in order to make each other as happy as you can.

So that’s all I have time for now, as I have to go out swinging!

So in the meantime – Happy Swinging!

Is there a certain etiquette to finding more than one swinging group?

Sorting It Out

Although this might sound like a broken record at this point, the main way to figure out this dilemma is to talk to the other couple about it. See what their ideas and their concerns might be.

Many of the times, you will find that swinging is actually a lot more open that you even imagined it, so things aren’t as sticky as they might seem to be.

Because you’re already in an open relationship, you may want to have this discussion before you even begin swinging. Talk about the possibility of it, and it won’t become anything that’s a secret.

Secrets and lies are where all relationships can fall apart, including swingers.

Also, if you find that the other couple has been swinging for longer, they may have already found another couple to spend their time with—although you should have found this out before.

Making sure that everyone is on the same page is the best way to ensure that no one feels like they or you are hiding anything.

If The Other Couple Isn’t Okay With It

You may find that the other couples (for whatever reason) is not interested is having you look for additional couples. And there are a few ways to look at this kind of reaction.

One, the other couple may still be feeling insecure about swinging in general, so they need some sort of ‘commitment’ to feel better. This is fairly common in the early stages of swinging—especially with beginners. Respect their decision, but feel free to bring it up again in the future.

Two, the other couple seems to want to be more controlling of the swinging relationship. They have a lot of rules or guidelines that ‘need’ to be followed exactly. Although there is a fine line between having an agreement and being overly controlling, you want to stop if you feel this vibe going on.

Do you feel as though you aren’t participating in the relationship as much? If so, this can be a sign of the other couple’s over-control and a sign that you may want to stop the relationship.

Swinging is for everyone in the group to enjoy and not be a one-sided adventure.

Control can lead to a darker side to a relationship, and you just don’t need that in your life.

When it comes down to it, talking out your feelings with the other couple is best. You don’t want to have them hear about anything through another couple. You will have destroyed the trust that you have built.

And if it just seems like it’s something that you can’t agree on, end that relationship, and move on. No hard feelings.