What worked for me in Thailand is a variation of what happens in the west. The main difference is that Thais are more playful on average, and usually less serious except conformists from conservative families. You should joke as much as you can.

Eventually, she will visit your home, initially with a friend in most situations.

It helps to have a nice and comfortable place. Here is what I recommend:

Nice music is essential. I have a computer whose hard disk is loaded with MP3 music and prepared playlists. Different playlists for different moods and stages. A mix of Thai and farang music. Mainly pop and romantic. I don’t shuffle CD’s, but instead convert them to MP3, copy them to the hard disk, and store away the original in a box somewhere. Of course, my computer is connected to my stereo.

A clean place is vital.

Comfortable places to sit down should be apparent.

Nice decor.

Photo albums of your home and your life.

Air conditioning can help a lot. I keep it on the very cool side.

Lots of pillows and things soft and thick.

A TV with some romantic and other kinds of videos can be nice.

Just in case, better have some condoms in the drawer beside the bed.

Eventually, it may come to an increasingly physical encounter, that 3 letter word. Thai ladies are much more shy about their bodies when it comes to anything serious physically. The keyword here is “sensitive”. There won’t be much variety on the menu for awhile.

Have you and your partner talking about what’s okay to do and what isn’t?

A Few Basic Rules

Each couple will be different in determining the rules of play when hard swinging, but here are some things to keep in mind or try for your selves.

Talk about your fantasies. Is your husband into watching two women, or are you ready to see your husband pleasure someone else? What do you really want to play out? Be honest when you talk with your partner.

This isn’t a bartering session; this is a time for you to lay everything out on the table to make sure that you aren’t hurting the relationship that you already have.

One of the worst things that you can do is not talk about the details ahead of time, and either feel pressured into doing something that you aren’t ready for, or watching your partner do something that you aren’t ready to see.

And talk with the other couple too. If you’re uncomfortable about fellatio or some other act, then say it.

You may even want to write out a sort of contract, and sign it.

Since you may not be in each other’s sight, knowing exactly what your partner will and will not be doing can set a beginner’s mind at ease.

Starting The Fun…

When you’re in the room with your new playmate, you want to try to make the scene comfortable. If you’ve talked ahead of time, this won’t be difficult.

You can start by talking or just moving closer to each other.

It’s amazing what a sexy environment can do as well. Maybe candles and incense can make for a sultry atmosphere, or maybe you just want to get down to business.

Start with exploring their body. Touch and feel each inch. Make compliments as you go, but don’t talk about comparisons. This moment is about the other person and making them feel special.

There will come a point when your bodies will figure out how to move with each other. Keep the other’s fantasies in mind.

Did they want you to try something in particular, or did they want you to surprise them?

If at any point you are uncomfortable or need to stop the festivities, then do so. Immediately.

This is not a game in the sense that someone wins and someone loses. You are working together to overcome sexual boundaries and fulfil fantasies. You both still have someone to go home with.

And if you want to continue the swinging relationship, you have to be able to trust each other completely.

At this point, if it’s been agreed upon, go ahead and have sex with the other person—careful to stay protected and safe. Savor the feeling of release of orgasm as you lie in someone else’s arms.

Of course, the key is that it’s strip TEASE, so keep that in mind as we talk about what you need to do—men and women both.

Getting Ready

When you’re thinking about doing a little ‘show,’ you want to consider what you are wearing from the inside out. What you’re going to end up in after the rest of the outfit is removed is the key.

Pick out something that the other person is sure to like. Maybe they’re shared a fantasy with you. Keep that in mind.

On top of that, you will want to find a nice ‘costume’ to wear. Maybe you’re starting out as a cop or a meter maid. Whatever you choose, be sure to accessorize it and ‘sex’ it up a little. Wear thigh high stocking and a garter belt if you’d like.

Guys can just wear something tight and figure flattering. And find something other than your everyday undies. G-strings aren’t necessary, but something a little tighter is delicious.

Pick out music that you know will be enjoyed—or find something from an erotic movie with a good tempo.

Doing The Dance

Since you’re aiming to please, figure out what will please the audience ahead of time. But if you can’t do that, listening to the reactions during the tease will help you move to the right beat.

Turn on the music and move your body. Move your hips and your legs. You can choose to keep your eyes focused on the ‘customer’ or you can close your eyes and drift into your own world.

You don’t have to be a professional dancer to be good. The fun is in the stripping itself.

You can either stay away from the person, or begin to rub on them like a lap dance. Tantalize them as long as they can stand it.

Stripping 101

When it comes to the actual stripping, you need to do more than just take off your clothes. This is all about drama and teasing.

Slowly remove each article of clothing. The more you have on, the better, because then the dance can last for a while. However, you don’t want to have so much on that you’re boring your audience.

Take off insignificant pieces of the costume first—gloves, hats, etc.—or remove them between other, more substantial items—shirts and pants.

You can slowly remove a belt and unzip a zipper for a great effect.

Dancing in your lingerie or well-chosen underwear will be the climax.

And what about when you’ve run out of clothing?

Perhaps you can ask the ‘audience’ if they want the special show. Slowly remove the rest of your covering and stop the music.

Another show starts now. Of course, that’s assuming that the audience could even make it until then. A lot of ‘strippers’ get their clothes ripped off ahead of schedule.

And now, you’re thinking that you’re more ‘stale’ than spice.

Taking Stock Of Your Skills

One of the best ways to get out of thinking that you’re not any good in bed is to talk to your partner. Ask them what they love about you and your skills before and during sex.

You may be surprised to hear the answers. Much of the ‘good stuff’ that we do is natural and we wouldn’t even realize that we’re doing it.

So you can count on your instincts to get you through any rough patches.

Feeling Your Way Through

Another great way to keep you confident as you’re trying to please someone new is to ask beforehand. That way, you already have an arsenal of ways to give them pleasure.

If you haven’t done that, you can always ask while you’re in the moment. Ask them if this or that feels good. Where do they like to be touched? Is there anything that they don’t like?

By having them guide you, you can stop worrying that you’re doing everything wrong.

And people want to lead you in the right direction.

Building Up Confidence

Most of the time, our sexual skills come from trying something that you’ve never tried before. My partner once told me that she always makes things up as we’re in the act, but because she’s so confident (or at least acts like it), I thought that she was much more experienced.

It’s amazing what jumping right in will do.

Do Your Homework

Take the time to read up on sex and ways to pleasure someone. Read magazines, websites, and articles. Find books and charts to the G-spot and other wonders of the human body.

Learn as much as you can about the body and how you can please it.

Watch erotic movies and see what they do. If anything, you can always try to copy something. The more things you know, the better off you will be.

Fake It

And I don’t mean faking the orgasm; I mean fake your skills. Pretend that you know more than you do and eventually you will. Act as though you are an adult video champion and you know every trick in the book to make someone feel good.

You would be surprised how many times you are right.

Pay Attention

By just listening to their breathing quicken, you can find a discreet little spot that needs lots of ‘attention’ or realize when their breathing slows that you’ve not where you need to be.

Test out the waters a little more each time, and soon your anxiety will just be a memory.

Realize that everyone wants to feel good, so they’ll make sure that you’re doing everything you can to ensure that.

Swinging is a way to explore your sexual fantasies and boundaries with the blessing and support of your partner. And by enjoying each other in this way, you enable better communication and deeper trust of your relationship.

But there are always ways to get your self into trouble.

There Are No Little White Lies

When it comes to a swinging relationship, there is no such thing as a little white lie. Each and every lie that you tell will become an issue. There needs to be a perfect atmosphere of trust and truthfulness in order to feel comfortable with each other.

And in any sort of future for the relationship among the group of couples.

This is really why the recommendation is that only strong couples get into swinging. The stronger the couple is, the more likely that good communication lines are already in place.

To think of it another way, you need to be sure that you can trust the other couple as well. At the very least your privacy may be compromised. At the most, you can be emotionally hurt.

Crossing Over Boundaries

Swinging can be a great tool to overcome any sexual anxieties that you might have, but there are limits to this journey.

For one, you can not assume that just because you want something to happen during a particular sexual excursion that the other person does as well.

Of course, talking about these boundaries ahead of time will help.

But you also want to stick to what you’re promised to do. Just because you think that you may be ‘helping’ someone overcome something does not mean that they are necessarily ready.

When someone tells you to stop or that they are uncomfortable, you need to stop IMMEDIATELY.

You will destroy a perfectly good relationship in a moment of weakness.

Keeping Quiet

On the other hand, the other person will not know about your boundaries unless you tell them ahead of time.

This is no time to be shy with another couple or with your own partner. Be clear and up front about the relationship that you are trying to pursue.

You may want to set up a specific time for everyone to meet up in a non-sexual environment. This is a great way to continuously have the lines of communication open for anything that may not be easy to talk about in a certain mood or setting.

Find a neutral place that is semi-private and give everyone a chance to talk. If there are problems, then address them at that point or discuss them and set up another time to figure out solutions.

When you don’t say anything, you are setting yourself up for problems.

Issues like jealously and anger can rear their ugly heads quite quickly when there is silence. But a little talking can do a world of good and keep everyone feeling good about themselves and their sexual power.

There are certain factors that you should consider and weigh heavily as you choose someone to swing with:

Honesty

You need to find people that are going to be honest with you. These are people that tell you what their needs are, what they do not like, and what their fantasies are.

You want to see all of their cards before you play any games.

If you should catch them in a lie, then you will need to figure out if they are someone that you want to spend your time with. This is especially true when you are meeting someone online; as you want to be sure that you are not in a dangerous situation.

One of the red flags for a con artist is someone whose story changes as they talk with you. Perhaps they tell you where they live and then suddenly, they mention living somewhere else.

My advice? Get as far away as possible when you run into a liar.

Open Communication

When you’re being honest, that’s great, but can you talk about things as they arise? When wife swapping, there can be a lot of complicated issues that need to be discussed.

These can include jealousy, new fantasies, and roleplaying ideas, just as examples.

You need to be able to frankly talk about what you want and what you don’t want from your swinging experience. You’re human and your feelings may change on what you originally intended for the relationship.

Being able to talk through these shifts is vital to maintaining your swinging relationship.

If you feel uncomfortable in any way, take things slower. And if they still do not improve, it may be time to move on.

Similar Fantasies

You don’t have to share the same fantasies, but you may want to look for couples that are interested in the same things. Whether you’re interested in roleplaying or bondage games, you want to be able to share in these things.

On the other hand, you may want to keep particular fantasies for your own relationship as a way to show your commitment to each other.

Finding Matching Goals

Although you may not want to share every fantasy, perhaps you are looking to overcome some issues that you have with particular sexual acts.

If this is the case, then you may want to bring this up with another couple to see if this is something that you can all explore. For example, if you are a woman who is interested in touching another woman, then you will want to see if this is something that would be okay.

Of course, many men would jump at the idea of watching such a scene, but the other woman must be comfortable as well.

Finding the right couple will take time and effort, but be strict about things that are important to you and to a relationship in general. You’re sure to find someone that fits the description of swinging ecstasy.

Talking To Each Other

The main glue that holds any relationship together is communication. Without the ability to talk, you won’t be able to sort out problems as they occur or prevent ones from happening.

And in terms of sharing sexual fantasies—well that will never happen if you’re too embarrassed or self-conscious.

A lot of people will blame the problem of non-communication on the male in the relationship, but it’s simply not true. When couples don’t talk, it’s both of the partners’ problems.

Actually, a lot of women remain quiet because they’ve learned to not ‘rock the boat’ in terms of saying things that may be less than favorable.

But this isn’t the time to worry about being gentle, you need to be honest.

Talk about your concerns and what MIGHT make you jealous before you even get into a couples swapping relationship.

And If I Feel Jealous After Everything Has Begun?

This is also completely normal to go through when you’ve just started couples swapping. Women especially are prone to feelings of low self worth when put into ‘competition’ with another woman.

Of course, once she realizes that she’s still number one to her partner, her confidence will grow.

But until that time, you will want to set up regular talks about how you’re feeling in the swinging relationship. Is there something that might help one of the partners feel more secure?

Many times couples can choose s signal or some sort of way to show each other their devotion.

It can be something as simple as making sure to caress and touch their partner before going off with another partner. You may also decide that you want to reserve certain actions (kissing on the lips, for example) for just the two of you.

This keeps that act a special moment reserved for your commitment to each other.

Is Jealousy Healthy?

Surprisingly enough, a certain degree of jealousy is healthy for a relationship because it naturally leads to a discussion of the importance of commitment. And it can lead to each partner revealing the depth of their love for each other.

Jealous can cause you to step back and revaluate your place in your partnership. It can point out the strengths and uncover the positive parts.

When it becomes unhealthy is when it’s used as a tool against the other person.

You don’t want to try to make someone jealous as that can be seen as some sort of test to a relationship. And that’s not the point of couples swapping. Your relationship should already be strong—constantly challenging each other does not help.

Couples swapping does not need to include jealousy, but if it should become an issue, take a breath and talk about it. It’s usually just a bump along the way, not a road block.